My son Zane was born 3 months early on August 23, 2007. He spent 108 days in the NICU. I thought I was going to lose him in late November but he made it all the way to December 9,2007. Dec 9th was the hardest day of my life. It was the day I had to say bye to my son and let him go to Heaven.
I was 10 weeks along when I went to the doctor for the first look at our surprise bundle of joy! My husband wasnt able to get off work, & my mom was in Germany, so there I was alone. The doctor started the internal ultrasound, & wasnt able to find a heartbeat. She said the baby was small. Maybe I wasnt as far along as I thought I was. She sent me immediately to a specialist. I called my husband and told him to get there fast. My husband hadnt made it to the specialist, when the news was confirmed. The baby stopped growing, and had no heartbeat. I lost it. How can God take away something we had grown to love and came at a time when we needed her. I had to carry her for a 4 more days until surgery could be done. After I came home, empty handed, the only thing we had to hold is a beautiful poem the hospital gave us... we wondered if the baby was a girl or boy... So my daughter nicknamed the baby, peanut. I just called the precious gift my angel. I now have a 2 year old, and wonder what life would be like. I miss my angel daily, and will always think about my precious gift. I was taught alot and will not take any time for granted. I wear a charm with a heart inside a star to always remember how my gift brightened my day!